When Bella and Edward come together, both having pasts filled with hurt and despair, what can they really expect?

Monday, July 25, 2011

Chapter Nineteen

Same Disclaimer.

Thanks to my beta and prereaders.

Back to Edward now...

5 years ago


Everyone always said that absence made the heart grow fonder. After being apart from Bella for months while I was in the treatment facility, I had to agree with that sentiment. I had thought I was in love with her back in high school, but clearly, I knew nothing.

When I was released, it was definitely rough on both of us for a while. But I had never been more in love with her than the day I walked out of that dull, boring building and saw her standing there by Carlisle. It was like she was glowing. Everything in that damned building had been dull and lifeless, and seeing her again brought the color and life back into me. Corny, yes, but absolutely true.

I could still remember how desperate her voice was during our first conversation alone after I got home.

We walked hand in hand up to my room. Carlilse and Esme said that we had time before dinner was ready and I wanted to spend a little alone time with my girl. I hadn't been alone with her for months.

We stepped inside my room and I shut the door behind us. Bella stood in front of me, her back facing me. I walked toward her and placed a hand on her shoulder. She spun around to me and tears were falling down her face.

"You can't do that. You can't do that to me ever again. I can't be away from you like that. You can't leave me. You can't leave me all alone," she said as her body began to tremble. I knew that what I'd done had affected Bella deeply, but to see it with my own eyes was heartbreaking. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I reached my hands up and gripped her face between them.

"Never again," I told her as she closed her eyes tightly and shook her head. I ran my thumbs under her eyes and captured the falling tears.

"Never again, baby," I said as I leaned my head forward and rested my forehead against hers. I kept whispering to her over and over how sorry I was. She finally opened her eyes and looked into mine.

"I can't survive without you," she whispered to me. I bent my head down and kissed her gently.

"You won't have to," I said before pulling her face to mine and kissing her more passionately. I felt her hands run along my shoulders before she ran them through my hair and gripped it tightly in her fists.

"God, I've missed you so much," I said as I pulled away from her mouth and began to kiss along her neck. She tilted her head to the side to allow me better access and I smiled. I ran my hands down her back and placed them on her ass, lifting her. She wrapped her legs around me as I walked us over to my bed. I laid her down gently and removed the shoes from her feet as I toed mine off as well.

"Edward, your parents are right downstairs," she said, not even bothering to act like she wanted me to stop. I reached a hand behind my back and pulled my shirt off before quickly working on my pants and boxers.

She sighed and began pulling her clothing off right along with me. I smiled widely at her as she laid naked before me on my bed.

"We have to be quick," she whispered as I crept up over her body. I laughed a little and she eyed me suspiciously.

"Oh don't worry. I'm sure it's gonna be over pretty damn quick. It has been a while, ya' know?" She blushed slightly and I couldn't help but run the back of my knuckles over the pink skin. I ran my other hand down her body until I came to her pussy. She was already so wet for me and my fingers entered her easily.

"I've missed you so much, baby," she said as more tears filled her eyes and fell down her cheeks. I removed my hands from her heat and lined myself up with her center.

"Don't worry, baby. I'm here now, and I'll never leave you again," I said before I thrust deeply inside her. Once I was surrounded all the way by her, I had to remain still, scared that I would blow my load before I even moved again.

"Fuck. You feel so goddamn good," I moaned as I pulled out of her and pushed my cock into her again.

"Oh God, Edward," she moaned as her nails ran down my back. I could feel the sting as she broke the skin, but didn't give a fuck. She could mark me as hers all she wanted because it was true.

I continued to thrust deeply into her until I felt the tingling in my balls signaling I was about to be finished. I placed my hand between us and began to rub tight circles around her clit.

"You gotta come for me, baby. I'm not gonna last much longer," I told her as she opened her eyes and looked straight at me. I continued to rub her as neither of us broke our connection.

Finally, I felt her pussy clamp down around me as her mouth opened in a silent scream. I thrust a couple more times before I held my cock deeply inside her as I came hard.

My body gave out as I fell forward, careful to not fall on top of her. She turned over and placed her head on my chest and kissed me gently over my heart.

"I love you," she said quietly.

"I love you too," I whispered.

Since that day, Bella and I hadn't been apart for long at all. Neither one of us could handle it. Bella went to her classes during the day and worked at a part time job on the days she had free. She'd decided that she wanted to be an elementary teacher just like her mother.

I decided against actually attending college and chose to just take a few classes on line. I didn't think I could handle the pressure of an actual college campus. Call me a pussy, but I didn't want to put myself at risk for a relapse with the drugs and alcohol.

When I wasn't doing course work, I was writing. I had found that writing was actually something I really enjoyed doing. Over the years I'd even had a few freelance magazine articles published. While it wasn't a full fledged writing career, it was a start.

To make a more steady income without the worry of my medical history coming in to play, I alternated between helping Carlisle out at his office or helping Esme make deliveries. It wasn't a career that I could be proud of, but it helped Bella out. She didn't have to be worried about working two jobs after taking classes all day. She could concentrate on making good grades and getting her teaching degree.

I decided to shut down my laptop when I heard her keys in the door. Bella and I had moved into our own apartment a couple of years ago. Carlisle and Esme had offered to help us out, but it was something we wanted to do on our own. She walked inside the apartment with her arms full of grocery bags. I rushed over to help her as she shut the door behind her.

"What's all this?" I asked her as I took a few bags from her arms. She huffed a little as she began to put the things away. I had a feeling I should probably know the answer to this one, but at the moment my mind was blank.

"I told you the other day, Edward. Emmett, Rose, Alice and Jasper are all coming over for dinner tonight," she said as she turned around to face me.

"Oh, okay," I said, leaning over to kiss her quickly. She eyed me suspiciously before frowning slightly.

"That's okay, right?" she asked me. She knew me well enough to know that I was uncomfortable around them at times, but I also knew her well enough to know that this would make her happy. I loved my family to death, but I hated when they came around. I felt like I was never good enough around them. But if it would make Bella happy to entertain them in our home, then that was something I would do for her. Hell, I'd do anything for her.

"It's fine, baby. Anything I can do to help?"

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