When Bella and Edward come together, both having pasts filled with hurt and despair, what can they really expect?

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Chapter Eleven

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of its characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Thanks to Juliegirl18 for beta'ing and Bella's Executioner and Saridee for pre-reading.

So I figured since I had a few chapters banked, I'd give you guys an extra update this week. Is that okay? ;)


I raced down the road toward Bella's house, beating myself up the entire time. I was pissed at myself for not knowing before now. I should have listened to her more.

I looked back on the past few days and remembered Bella being very confrontational. Where she usually quietly took my shitty attitude, this week she had snapped right back. At the time I thought that maybe she was just getting used to me, but if I had been a better person, I would have realized what it was. I acted the same way in the days leading up to the anniversary of my parents' death's.

In all honesty though, I couldn't blame only myself. Jasper and Rose had lived with Bella a hell of a lot longer than I had known her and they hadn't even realized what today was until I asked. If I knew Bella, and I was pretty sure I did by now, she probably didn't bother to mention it to anyone, and now that Jasper had Alice and Rose had Emmett, she was left alone.

If I had anything to do with it though, she wouldn't be alone anymore. In the months that had passed since I met her I finally realized that I needed someone like Bella in my life. I found that my entire mood improved a lot when she was around. Even Carlisle and Esme had commented on the way I had changed since Bella came into my life.

I also realized more recently that I didn't want Bella to only be my friend. I wanted more with her. I wanted what Alice had with Jasper; to hold hands while sitting in a dark theater, stealing kisses. I wanted what Emmett had with Rose; to have her run down the steps and leap into my arms when she hadn't seen me all week.

This was the first time I had felt like this about anyone. By all means, I was not fucking innocent when it came to girls, but I had never been with anyone that I actually had feelings for. I wanted Bella, and I just hoped that she felt the same about me.

I parked in front of Bella's childhood home, not bothering with where she lived now. If she was anything like me, she craved familiarity right about now, and I was sure the meadow was where she would be.

I ran through the wooden gate and down the worn path and finally came upon the clearing. Bella was standing in the middle of the area, her fists clenched tightly by her sides. I could see her body shaking as she sobbed.

"Bella," I said quietly as I stepped closer to her. I heard her sigh loudly before trying to catch her breath. After a few seconds she finally spoke.

"What do you want, Edward?" she asked me, not bothering to turn around.

"I just wanted to be with you today," I said as I stepped a little closer to her. I knew that if I could just touch her I could offer her some kind of comfort, the way she did for me when she touched me.

"Why are you here?" she said, her voice rising louder.

"You didn't let me be alone that day and I'm not gonna let you be alone either," I said just as loud. She quickly spun around and her eyes narrowed.

"Why do you give a fuck, Edward?" she practically growled.

"I'm not gonna let you push me away. I know that's what you're trying to do. You aren't like this, Bella. Just let me help you," I said as I finally stood close enough to grab her hand. When I did she immediately snatched her hand back as if I had burned her.

"You're just being nice to me because of Alice," she said and I looked at her in confusion. "She's probably making you."


"There's no way anyone like you could ever like me. I mean, look at me. I'm a nobody..."


"You could have anyone in Forks if you wanted. I don't know why I would think that you could actually go for someone like me..." she continued to babble on.

Frustrated with the fact that she wouldn't let me get a word in edgewise, I grabbed her face between both my hands and pulled her into a kiss. At first, Bella made no move to reciprocate. Just as I was about to pull away and die of embarrassment, I felt her body relax and she sighed as she began to move her mouth with mine.

Her lips were soft against mine as she tilted her head to the side. She opened her mouth slightly for me, allowing me to push my tongue inside. I ran my thumbs along the apple of her cheeks as we continued to kiss. She lifted her hands from her sides and placed them on my chest.

We continued to kiss for a few minutes, but when my hands left her face and began to travel down to her ass, I knew I needed to stop before I managed to scare Bella away. I pulled away and rested my forehead against hers. Her eyes were closed as she licked her lips and smiled slightly.

"What was that for?" she asked. I laughed a little.

"I like you, Bella."

"You like me?"


"You like me, like me?"

"I don't know what 'like me, like me' means, but I'm gonna say yes. I want what our friends have. I want you...to be with me...like that," I said as she opened her eyes and smiled widely.

"I want that too," she whispered.


After a few more minutes of kissing, Bella and I sat down on the damp grass and made ourselves comfortable. I waited for her to open up and talk to me, but figured I needed to make the move. Just when I was getting ready to ask her, she finally spoke up.

"So, I take it you know what today is?" she asked me quietly.

"Yeah, I figured it out," I told her honestly. No one had told me and I was kinda proud of the fact that I had figured it out for myself. I didn't expect her to tell me the full story today and was surprised when she started talking.

"My dad was a cop and my mom was a kindergarten teacher. The one thing I remember is that they were always so happy. Everyone tells me that I look just like my mom, but have my dad's mannerisms. God, I wish you could have met them," she said, smiling slightly at me as I smiled back at her.

"Anyway, Rose and Jasper lived where they do now, which was right beside us. At ten years old, Rose and I would alternate who's house we would spend the night at on Friday nights. That Friday just happened to be one where we would stay at Rose's. I am so glad Rose wasn't there but..." she said, trailing off. I reached over and grasped her hand in mine.

"Around midnight, some guy that my dad had arrested once for assault and battery broke into our house and killed both my parents. My dad was downstairs and they said he never even woke up. When my mom heard the gunshot, she rushed downstairs and found him, lying in a pool of blood in his favorite recliner. She was found, shot in the back, lying in front of his chair."

"They ended up finding the guy a few days later when he tried to run during a routine traffic stop." I looked over at her as she stopped talking and saw the tears streaming down her face. I held her hand tightly in mine as we sat together quietly. After a few minutes she spoke again.

"You know, sometimes I wish that I hadn't stayed with Rose that night. I would never wish that Rose had been at my house with me, but I wish I had been there. I had a habit of camping out on the living room floor on the weekends. When he walked in, he would have seen me and killed me too. Then I wouldn't be here, all alone, without them," she said before starting to cry again. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her tightly to my side. If I hadn't believed that Bella and I were alike before now, I would definitely believe it now.

"I can't tell you how many times I have wished that my dad killed me when he killed my mom and himself. I hated the fact that he left me here, all alone. But Bella, I don't feel so alone now. I feel like I've finally met someone who knows what I am going through...at least to a certain extent," I confessed.

"I don't want to be alone anymore, Edward," she whispered to me. I turned and lightly kissed her temple.

"Me either, Bella. Me either."

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