When Bella and Edward come together, both having pasts filled with hurt and despair, what can they really expect?

Monday, July 11, 2011

Chapter Fifteen

Same Disclaimer applies...I own nothing.

Thanks to juliegirl18 for beta'ing for me. She works her butt off at work all week and still has time to fix my mistakes. ILY girl!

Thanks to sariedee for prereading for me and assuring me that I am doing the right thing with my writing. She's known my vision the whole time and has made me stick to my guns.

Thanks to Bella's Executioner for prereading. I am quite a few chapters ahead in writing and she told me that I forced her listen to a certain BSB song on repeat the other day after she preread a chapter for me. So, you've got that to look forward to, LOL.


I drove down the deserted road through the pouring rain entirely too fast. The steering wheel was gripped in my hands so tight that my knuckles were as white as snow. My foot was pushing the gas pedal further toward the floorboard as I watched the trees fly by out of the window.

I had no idea how long I had been driving or how far I'd gone. My mind wasn't on the road in front of me. I was constantly repeating our conversation over and over in my head.

What the fuck had I just done?

Did I just try to fuck Bella on the side of the road?

Did I just accuse Bella of cheating on me?

Did I just leave her on the side of the road in the pouring rain?

I moved my foot from the gas pedal and slammed down on the brakes. Gripping the wheel, I tried to maintain control of the car as it skidded to a stop sideways on the road.

I turned around quickly and made my way back to where I left my girlfriend on the side of the road...in the pouring rain.

What the fuck was wrong with me? What kind of person leaves the girl they supposedly love on the side of the road without a way home? How was I ever gonna get her to forgive me? She was gonna leave me for sure. I was gonna be all alone again. I didn't want to be alone again; I couldn't handle being alone again.

I came up on the abandoned barn that I remembered seeing when I left Bella and slowed down. She wasn't there. Where had she gone? What happened to her? Why did I leave her?

I pulled the car to the side of the road and jumped out, running over to where I left her standing. I stood there on the side of the road, rain pouring down on me and screamed her name over and over.

"Bella!" I screamed, my hands gripping my wet hair tightly.

"Bella!" I screamed again as I fell to my knees, the mud soaking quickly through my already soaked jeans.

I didn't know how long I knelt on the side of the road, but the rain hadn't let up a bit. I slowly stood up and made my way over to my car.

I looked around again, hoping I had just missed her the first time. Where the fuck was she? I needed to find her. I needed to make sure she was okay. I needed her to believe how fucking sorry I was.

"Goddammit!" I screamed as I punched the windshield of my car. I pulled my fist back and looked at the blood as it trickled down my knuckles. The pain in my knuckles felt nothing like the pain I felt when I thought about a life without Bella.

I got back in the car and decided the first place I needed to check was her house. I don't know how she could have gotten there so fast, but that was probably where she was at.

How did she get there?

Did someone pick her up?

Who picked her up?

What if they hurt her?

As the unwanted thoughts ran through my head, I raced down the road headed to her house. I just needed her to talk to me. I sped down her quiet street and pulled up just in time to see her getting out of Riley's car.

It had to be him, didn't it?

What did he have that I didn't?

She fucking called him, didn't she?

No, she didn't call him. She said herself that she didn't have her phone on her. I needed to calm down before I walked over to her. I needed her to listen to me. As he drove away, I opened my door and got out, quickly walking over to her.

"Bella!" I yelled. I saw her body physically stiffen when she heard my voice. She stood only a few feet away from me, but I'd never felt further away from her than I did in that moment. She stood frigidly, her back facing me as the rain fell hard all around us. I wanted to run to her and pull her in my arms and beg her to believe how sorry I was.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me, not bothering to turn around and face me. I could hear her voice shaking with emotion.

"I need to talk to you," I told her, stepping closer to her. She spun around quickly to face me, her face showing an emotion I'd never seen aimed at me.

"No, you don't get to talk to me anymore. Never. Never again," she gritted out. I felt the air sucked from around me as I fought to breathe. She couldn't leave me. I couldn't handle it.

"Bella, please! I'm sorry! I'm so fucking sorry!" I yelled over the thunder that had begun booming around us.

"Sorry doesn't help Edward! You left me on the side of the road in the pouring rain! I had no way to call anyone. Thankfully Riley thought to follow us out of the parking lot. He said he was worried about me. Thank God someone was!" I flinched back when she said his name, but knew that I should probably be thankful that he picked her up. I didn't even want to think about the possibility of her out there alone in this storm.

"Baby, please believe me. I'm so sorry. You have to believe me!"

"No, Edward. I no longer have to do anything for you. We're finished," she said before turning around and walking toward the house. I couldn't breathe. I ran toward her and fell on my knees, wrapping my arms around her legs.

"Bella, please. I'm sorry," I kept chanting over and over. She struggled a bit, but finally got out of my hold.

"Bella!" I screamed as my head dropped to the ground in front of me. I fisted my hands tightly in the mud surrounding me, the dirt mixing quickly with the blood still pouring from my knuckles.

"Bella!" I screamed as I thought about living my life without her. I didn't want to live in a world where I wasn't with her.

"Bella!" I screamed as I finally let the tears I had been holding back fall from my face. I heard her as she approached me. Her shoes came into my line of sight as she stood quietly by me.

"What's wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? What did you do?" she asked me quietly.

"Bella, something's wrong with me. I don't feel right. Something's not right. I don't feel good," I mumbled to her.

"Baby, what did you do?" she asked me as she knelt down beside me. I looked into her eyes as the tears fell down her face.

"I stopped taking them. I just felt so good being with you, so I stopped. It wasn't supposed to be like this. I was supposed to be better," I told her. She stood up quickly and ran inside the house. She walked back out onto the porch and shielded herself from the rain as she put the phone to her ear. I tried not to listen, but caught bits and pieces of the conversation.

"He's here...don't know what's wrong...say's he stopped...Carlisle, I don't know..." she spoke quietly. With that one name, I knew what would happen. I couldn't go back there. I wouldn't.

I stood up quickly and looked over at her. Her eyes grew wide as she saw me backing up toward my car. I turned around and ran quickly, not knowing how close he already was to arriving.

"Edward, wait! No! Edward, don't leave!" I heard her yell before I slammed the door and sped off.

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